Chapter 3-Invisible Chains

Proverbs 28:13 (MSG)

"You can't whitewash your sins and get by with it; you find mercy by admitting and leaving them."

Yesterday morning, while I was curling my hair, and getting ready to start the day, I asked my husband a question.

It was something I had wondered for a while but never quite knew how to approach.

I looked at him and simply asked, In AA, why do you introduce yourself as an alcoholic?

Why do you say, “Hello, my name is Erik, and I’m an alcoholic”?

His answer was short, direct, and completely matter-of-fact:

“Because it’s the truth. Because I am an alcoholic.”

I paused for a second and then asked, Well, yes, but don’t you want to proclaim that you’re a recovering alcoholic? That you’re being restored?

And without hesitation, he said, I never want to forget the truth. It does not bother me to say the truth and know I can’t be restored alone. 

Then he went about his day. Just like that.

Meanwhile, I stood there, curling iron in hand, left to wrestle with his answer.

As I let his words sink in, I realized they led me right back to what I’ve been struggling with in Chapter Three of Inherit Your Freedom.

Radical honesty.

Complete transparency with myself.

The willingness to say: This is who I am. This is what I struggle with. This is where I need God the most.

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That conversation brought me back to Week One of this study.

The list.

The one we had to write down. The one I really didn’t want to put on paper.

A list of all the things—

✔️ The generational curses.

✔️ The struggles that keep me bound.

✔️ The sins that I know I cannot break free from on my own.

That list made me sick to my stomach.

Because it wasn’t just words. It was my reality.

The things I’d rather ignore. The things I’d rather not name.

But the truth is, you cannot break free from something if you won’t admit it exists.

And that’s exactly what my husband was saying—freedom starts with truth.

Not a polished-up version. Not a minimized version. The actual truth.

-The Chain I’ve Carried for Too Long

There’s something on my list that I’ve always known about myself.

Something I haven’t liked to admit.

Something that, if I’m being radically honest, has carried so much shame, guilt, and remorse.

My tongue.

I have a sharp tongue.

Not in a cute, witty, “oh, she’s just a little feisty” way.

No.

I have a tongue that can cut someone to pieces in five seconds flat.

I have said things in moments of anger that I cannot take back.

I have used words to destroy.

I have spoken in ways that are not of God, that do not reflect His love, His grace, or His patience.

And that truth? It’s a chain.

A heavy one.

One that has kept me bound in guilt, shame, and regret for so long.

But here’s what I’m learning—radical honesty is what sets you free.

When I say, “I have a problem with my tongue.”

When I admit, “This is something I cannot control on my own.”

When I name it, not just in passing, but in truth—

I am breaking the power it has over me.

Just like my husband saying, “I’m an alcoholic” isn’t about defeat—it’s about freedom.

Because as long as I deny it, justify it, or try to downplay it, I’m still a prisoner to it.

But when I speak it, when I own it, when I say, “God, this is my struggle, and I cannot do this without You”—

That’s when things start to change.

-Radical Honesty Changes Everything

My husband doesn’t introduce himself as an alcoholic because he’s proud of it.

He does it because he knows exactly where he stands.

He knows that without God, without surrendering every single day, he cannot overcome.

And that’s where I need to be.

✔️ Honest about the places where I’m still in chains, even though I’m saved.

✔️ Honest about where I’ve put my faith in the wrong things.

✔️ Honest about the sins I’ve minimized and the habits I’ve justified.

✔️ Honest about the fact that I need God—not just once, not just when I feel weak, but every single day.

Radical honesty isn’t just about telling the truth but confronting it.

• It’s about examining my thoughts, emotions, and actions with no filters.

• It’s about being brutally honest about my motives, desires, and how I deceive myself.

• It’s about seeking truth, even when it’s uncomfortable.

Because that kind of honesty?

It leads to self-awareness.

It leads to deliverance.

And it leads to real transformation.

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I’ll be honest—I have a lot of work to do.

And maybe you do, too.

So let me ask you the questions I've been asking myself all week:

• What’s the truth you’ve been avoiding?

• Where have you been deceiving yourself just to feel better?

• What struggle do you need to acknowledge so that God can actually help you overcome it?

If we want real freedom, we have to get real with ourselves.

We have to name the thing.

Call it what it is.

Stop justifying it.

And surrender it fully to God.

That’s the truth that sets us free.

My Prayer:

Lord, I don’t want to deceive myself anymore. I don’t want to avoid the truth just because it’s uncomfortable. Show me the areas where I’m still holding onto false beliefs. Help me to be radically honest—not just with You, but with myself. Remind me that my struggles don’t define me, but they do remind me of how much I need You. Thank You for loving me enough to tell me the truth, even when it’s hard to hear. I surrender every hidden place to You today. In Jesus’ name, Amen.