Light in the Darkest Places

“The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” — Psalm 34:18

Disclaimer: This post discusses the reality of sexual abuse. If you have experienced trauma or find this subject difficult, please read with care. You are not alone, and there is help and hope available.

Today is heavy.

One of those days where the weight of evil makes me question so many things.

While working, I came across a case—a little girl’s words, written in an affidavit, describing the unthinkable. The things her father had done to her. The pain, the betrayal, the horror no child should ever have to put into words.

I felt the tears before I could stop them. I texted my husband. How? How could a father do this to his own daughter? How can parents be the ones who destroy their own children?

A righteous anger burned inside me. And yet, in the same breath, I found gratitude. I thanked my husband for being the father he is. For being a man our daughters never have to fear. For giving me the peace of knowing I never have to worry or wonder.

But I also told him the truth—I don’t know if I can do this anymore. Some days, the darkness is so thick, so suffocating, that I wonder if I’m strong enough to keep stepping into it. The evil in this world is so blatant. So relentless.

Then, I was reminded. Gently, but firm.

“I’m still good.”

I know this. I’ve always known it. But on days like today, I need the reminder.

My childhood was not untouched by darkness. But even in that, I know God’s light. I have seen His goodness, even in places where it seemed impossible. I have known His healing, even in the midst of brokenness.

The work I do exposes me to a kind of darkness that most people will never face, and for that, I’m thankful. If people truly understood the reality of this evil, I hope it would make them as angry as it does me. Because it should. It should grieve us. It should stir something deep inside us that refuses to accept it as normal. But even in the darkness, I see something else—God’s light. And His love.

He never promised that evil wouldn’t exist. Free will ensures that. But He did promise that He is near to the brokenhearted. That He saves those who are crushed in spirit. That in the end, justice will come.

My heart aches for the victims. The ones who carry wounds they never asked for. The ones who live with the weight of what was done to them. The ones who try to move forward but are forever changed. My heart breaks for them.

But my heart also breaks for the abusers.

I can’t imagine living with the torment of knowing—of replaying, over and over again—the harm they inflicted. I can’t imagine waking up every day knowing that they destroyed something innocent, something pure, something they were meant to protect. The weight of their choices must be unbearable. And if it’s not now, it will be. Because we serve a God of justice.

And there will be justice.

That’s not up for debate. No evil goes unanswered. No sin goes unnoticed. There will be a reckoning. And yet, even in that, God’s heart still longs for redemption. He is both merciful and just.

Today, although dark and heavy, was a reminder that we can’t give up. We are the light that needs to overwhelm the darkness and evil in this world. We are the ones who hold the stories of hope and redemption. We are the hands and the feet of our Father.

And the enemy wins when we say, I don’t think I’m strong enough to do this. The enemy wins when we say, the weight of this is too heavy to carry.

But God wins when we keep fighting for Him—because we never fight alone.

He is with us every step of the way. When our hearts break, His heart breaks. And just like today, His grace sustains me, and His mercies are new every morning.

My prayer:

Heavenly Father, today I bring before You every child, every survivor, every soul who has been wounded by abuse. Lord, You see them. You know their pain, their cries, their silent suffering. Wrap them in Your presence. Heal what has been broken. Restore what was stolen. And God, bring justice. Let no evil go unanswered. 

But Lord, I also pray for those who have committed these acts. That You would break them. That You would bring them to their knees in repentance. That the weight of their sin would be unbearable until they seek You. Because You are a God of justice, but You are also a God of mercy. And though I don’t understand it, I trust You. Even when it hurts. Even when the darkness feels too heavy. Because I know that Your light—and Your love—will always win. 

In your precious sons name, Amen.